Derailed

My last post was dated January of 2011. So much time had passed. What I was experiencing then are just now a part of my memory. Those are moments that I visit sometimes in a little corner in my mind, wishing that somehow I could relive them even just for a day.

I was working for the reality show 'I Dare You' back then. I left the show. I left the network. I left a big part of my dreams. I closed the door to the dream I had for years. I realized that it was not really what I wanted. Or maybe that wasn't really my dream. It was just a part of a bigger dream that I still have but I had to 'detour' or probably take a different route to get there. I wanted to study. Again.

Then, I worked for a call center as a sales representative for a travel website. Daily, I received hotel reservations for foreign customers. It was both fun and exhausting. I kind of liked the mix of both until I decided to leave again. The hardest part of leaving was 'breaking up' with my closest friends there for quite some time. I derailed my own life once again.

Up until now, I haven't gotten a job yet. Like my previous job, it's both fun and exhausting. It's fun doing nothing, which can be exhausting at times. It's exhausting to be penniless, which can be fun at times. I spend time with my friends and they take care of me while I'm stuck thousands of miles below the poverty line. They make me feel I have the greatest friends in the world. I owe them so much that I want to work hard soon so I could show them how much I appreciate everything they have done for the past months.

Now, as I sit here in this dark room and convincing myself to get some sleep, I'm thinking of the next steps that I need to take to regain my old, hardworking self again. Though I'm more of a spontaneous person, I mentally plan everything that I do. Right now I'm planning to end this post but I don't know how or at which point should I stop.

I'll just hope and strive for the best and see. I'll also try to post something here again soon. Or you can also see me on Twitter most of the time. Follow me here. Thank you for your precious time.