Crossroads

After almost a week, after the verdict had taken its effect, I'm finally used to live an ordinary student life. Less thoughts, less works. I have been thinking that maybe God gave me this opportunity to regain myself back. To reflect on things I have been doing for almost two years and a half.

Initially, I joined Teatro Komunikado half-heartedly. I thought of myself as a person who has no talent. I thought I could entertain other people but not on stage. But after that audition, I became a part of the group's fifth batch. I guess I fell in love with group. I love doing those things. Since then, I became an artist.

We started as 'apprentices'. We had a semester to prove that we were worth to be a member of the group. Months later, I became a member. By the end of the year, I became a Board Member. It was really a tough way to be in that position. Because I realized that being a member of the group isn't really easy.

Sacrifices. I made much of that for the group. But I don't mind that since this is what I love doing. I'm proud to say I could cope with the classes though I had to be absent at times. I learned a lot, I experienced doing many things. I owe them all from TK.

Last March, I became the Secretary General of Teatro Komunikado. Quite a big responsibility. I didn't know where to start my two-year term. Even the whole Executive Board had a really hard time figuring out the same thing. Teatro Kom is a big organization. It has a lot of activities, commitments, and we had to maintain the image that the previous officers left. Meaning, extra efforts and extra time. We didn't mind that. We enjoyed every moment.

An now, I made my mistake. It was my turn to do bad for the group. One single mistake and I lost it all. I built my dream sand castle but I accidentally broke it. I'm really sorry - for the group and for myself. I lost track of fulfilling my very own responsibilities so I have to take some rest for the next two months. I understand why I have to be given with such sanction/s. But I hope I would understand the consequences of that sanction months after.

I don't know what the next two months will give me. I still have no definite plan whether to go back or just support them from afar. I love the group, undoubtedly. I think I have nothing to prove about that. But maybe it's time to love myself and just be where I am right now. The incident really taught me a lot and made me realize many things.

As to my final decision, I can't really tell by now... But I'll always be around.