Fresh Burst!

I guess it really has to be this way. Life is working its best to teach me with all I need. It's all starting. My mind is full of different thoughts. They're battling. Good or bad? Right or wrong? Now or never? Whew! I want to stay away from those things. I'm trying to divert my attentions with all the possible things I could use.

Number One

I never thought it's my fault. Of course, it's not your fault, too. I never wanted it this way. At first, it was nothing to me. I already passed through that before but nothing really mattered to me. If you choose to stay away, it's your choice. If that's the only way I could help you to ease everything up. Just don't make me feel I'm responsible for you. As what I've said, nobody wanted this.

Number Two

I'm sorry if I caused a lot of trouble to the group. I was barely aware that my simple friendship with her would still be an issue after a long time. Is it my fault that I felt so comfortable to her? She taught me everything about the group. Initially, I learned to love the group because of her. And I know I made all the responsibilities I have despite of everything so I guess you shall not blame anyone for what happened.

Number Three

At last! Now, I understand. I have to because it is the truth. I don't know what to feel. I won't say or do anything because you already did it for me. Thanks. But, still, I won't stop here. I just understand but it doesn't mean it's easy.

Maybe I'll just stay here in this way. I'll just hold these things with me and look at them, thinking someday I will let those things fly away exactly the way I want them right now. I have dreams. I'm thinking positive. It's not yet the right time. I feel it. I don't know how to say it but I really feel it. I want those dreams to come true and I don't know how will I feel when that time comes. I'm not really good in words so I can't put all of them here.

But, I understand. Those dreams may come but in a different 'version'. It's like a story with different characters. I'll just continue making stories in my mind and feel every details of it. That would be the case from now on. Still, it's really hard for me. Lots of thanks. I'll just feel it until it's gone.

"You'll never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."

I'm not absolutely satisfied with what I put in here. I don't know how to put down in words everything I feel. But please, I'm not accepting any questions about this. Thank you.