Thy Earth Dies

It was Earth Day yesterday. As expected, it rained hard enough to flood some places in the Metro. I was even a victim of this rain because I was on my way home from my one and only summer class. Yes. Earth Day. April 22. The whole Filipino nation prepared for a sizzling April but the weather acted as if it was July or August.

I'll try to sound like an advocate this time. Even just for once. I just don't feel comfortable as long as these environmental issues are around. As a certified potato couch of Summer '09, I heard from TV and radio that this could be an effect of the climate change brought forth by the global warming. Who knows? There's a big possibility that it really has something to do with that. Prior to my decision of putting my opinion here on this site, I also tried to learn about the nature and how everything is related with one another. And I can say that this could be a glimpse of a bigger problem. A deluge, so to speak.

I even constantly see ads on television about protecting Mother Earth, saving Ilog Pasig, and the likes. It's good to know that environmental awareness is fast growing but it just doesn't seem enough to do what we have to do. There are billions of people in this world who are responsible of saving the Earth. We are living on the same Earth and no one is exempted from doing his/her responsibility.

Here in the Philippines, the government has a big a part on this. Many say that we have wonderful gifts from the nature. But no one seemed to care. We kept on doing what we want overlooking where we all started and where the future will bring us. The Pasig River is a good example. In the past, it was the root of many Filipino civilizations. Our ancestors greatly relied their everyday lives to the Pasig River. But now, nobody cares if the Pasig River exist or not. All they want is to have somewhere to throw their craps at. If the government will only mandate to avoid polluting the river and come up with new ways to dispose their wastes off, it could help big time. After all, laws are not implemented properly.

"The struggle to save the global environment is in one way
much more difficult than the struggle to vanquish Hitler,
for this time the war is with ourselves.
We are the enemy, just as we have only ourselves as allies."
~ Al Gore ~

But this problem can be accounted to everyone. What is happening right now is a tap on our shoulders. We have been so busy that we are forgetting the smallest yet the most important things of this world. It is everyone's battle now. It is our prime duty and responsibility to repay the kind of nurture our nature is giving us. So please, do your part before it's too late.

My Summer 2009

Yes. It's a scorching hot summer. It's not a typical Philippine summer for me because of the extreme heat. I started wondering if it has any connection with the global warming (that I hope not). And just a couple of days ago, rains started to pour. It was a humungous 'yehey' for me since I'm gravely affected and constantly complaining about the extreme heat.

Summer has always been a jurassic period for me. Living these two months without doing anything is an everyday nightmare. I hate that lifestyle. Hehe. But seriously, I can't stand just idling around the house. I want to go out. I want to be a lot more productive since I'm away from school. But I always end up sleeping, watching TV and movies, eating, and then back to sleep again. I even limited the use of electricity at home to conserve energy (and money too! hehe). Every hour is Earth hour. So less DVDs this time.

Anyways, I am currently having a summer class for Politics and Governance. It's a super early class and I'm doing my best for this sole subject I have at the moment. After 10:30 am, I have nothing to do anymore so I tried to find a job with my friends. Unfortunately, our magellanish expeditions didn't result to anything favorable. Some sort of cosmic forces succeeded in making this summer a 'house-school-house' summer for me.

I just spend my time at home with the usual routines. I envy those who already went to the beach because it's been years since I've been on one. I want to travel. I want to go to Baguio again. I want to eat a lot of ice creams.

Well, summer has nothing to do with those things but, doing nothing makes me realize that there are gazillions of things I wanted to do this summer and I don't know how. Maybe I can start when I already have a job. So I am greatly looking forward to my last year in college. Yes! You read it right! I'm already a 4th year student this coming school year! Yeah!

That's my summer as of this time. And I hope to fulfill any of my desires before this summer ends.

A Year Older

Just a few weeks ago, I had again my most favorite day of the year. Of course, I have to love it (though I really do) because it reminds me that I'm still alive despite my stressful lifestyle every February. It also reminds me of growing up, figuratively. As expected, a nineteen-year-old person shouldn't act like an eighteen. So, just a thought, there must be a little difference.

Maturity comes out naturally. But it isn't an excuse of not thinking how you act with different people, adjusting how attached you are with them, or how you value them. There was really more to think about and I spent my birthday thinking about those things.

I started that day with my groupmates, u22 (Dah, RJ, Ruel, Kael, and Lady plus Jonathan). We were shooting our movie trailer for Film Writing and Production and we haven't gone home for a couple of days that time. We had a little celebration since Dah, who was also celebrating her birthday, surprised me. They set the camera and turned the lights off. Then a cake with two tagpi-piso candles on it came out of the dark accompanied by the ever-famous/immortal Happy Birthday song. I was really surprised and I appreciated the effort of having a simple celebration that time.

We continued shooting for the trailer and we slept before sunrise. We woke up early to make it to our 9:00 am class which is Principles of Children's ETV Programming. And the rest was just an ordinary routine of my ordinary day, except for greetings from a lot of friends and acquaintances. But before the day ended, I went home to see my family.

After all those things, it was a very special day for me. I appreciated every little part of that day and every single person who completed my 19th birthday with me. Thanks guys!

Superman and Utopia

Well, the year did start well for me though commitments kept rushing in and I have to focus on them one by one. I have to manage things well and I really feel the need to have a couple of rest right at this very moment.

Le Vogue '09. Our section is busy preparing for a fashion show and festival dance contest for one of our subject, International/Intercultural Communication. Time and efforts have to be made and creativity is in demand right now. Of course, the goal is to win.

Thesis. We are very eager to accomplish every chapter of our thesis. It gives us the feeling that we are near the finish line of this studying stuff. Sleepovers, meetings, consultations, research, trip to the libraries, and more. It is also satisfying to know that our group is leading to the right path (as of this time). Funny to realize years ago, we were just busy coloring pictures on our books and now, we are studying how universities promote culture and arts. Good luck u22!



Major Production. It's January and as expected, I'm back to Teatro Komunikado. And as a welcome, I was assigned to be the Production Manager of this year's major play production. I haven't started anything yet so I have to work as soon as possible.

This is my life for January. Trying to fit these things in, not mentioning the death-defying requirements and exams for every subject. I know this will all bring new experiences to me as I start living this new year.

Now, for myself. Accomplishing all of these would mean so much. I know I am Superman. Multitasking is my hobby. Doing what seems to be incredible is my passion and I was raised that way (really? haha). But I know there are limits to what I can do.

There is no real Superman. Everybody wishes to be Superman but it is just a part of every human's utopic dream. There are things which you wish you could do effortlessly without squeezing your heart and brain out. There are things that you kept on trying to do but eventually, you'll realize that you are facing the Great Wall of China. Really impossible to get over with. You're really tired of being just an ordinary being so you wish to be a unique one. You want to do things right away but you know it would take you so much time and every second is causing you so much burden. All you can do is to withstand all the pressure and everything that comes with it.

But, being Superman does not equate to being a perfect person. It is a mere metaphor to what every individual wishes for themselves.

Aftermath: Changes

Yes... Changes always happen. They're just around the corners. They're the most natural way to sustain everything in this world. It's been almost a month and I've experienced a change in everything - from my routines up to my tiniest thoughts even before I sleep.

I was never afraid of changes. I know what I have right now are still gonna change. I don't know what to point in this blog but I just simply want to write about changes since I've been through a lot of that just recently.

Friends. I got new friends and I used to be with them more often. I love their company and it seems that we're into something good. It's like an underground society. (Haha. No. It's not what you're thinking.) It just feels good to have them and know who's gonna catch your next fall.

Me. It's still me - the same old me. But somehow, something has changed. Maybe, everything is working its way for the better. I will never regret changing. But still, I will miss the way it used to be. I can never measure how much I've grown but through these, I know now how much I learned.

Now, I have more plans for everything:

*study even harder
*read more books
*bond more with friends
*bond even more with my family
*what else?

I actually want more things this Christmas. Not literally things. And I want to pull them closer.

Crossroads

After almost a week, after the verdict had taken its effect, I'm finally used to live an ordinary student life. Less thoughts, less works. I have been thinking that maybe God gave me this opportunity to regain myself back. To reflect on things I have been doing for almost two years and a half.

Initially, I joined Teatro Komunikado half-heartedly. I thought of myself as a person who has no talent. I thought I could entertain other people but not on stage. But after that audition, I became a part of the group's fifth batch. I guess I fell in love with group. I love doing those things. Since then, I became an artist.

We started as 'apprentices'. We had a semester to prove that we were worth to be a member of the group. Months later, I became a member. By the end of the year, I became a Board Member. It was really a tough way to be in that position. Because I realized that being a member of the group isn't really easy.

Sacrifices. I made much of that for the group. But I don't mind that since this is what I love doing. I'm proud to say I could cope with the classes though I had to be absent at times. I learned a lot, I experienced doing many things. I owe them all from TK.

Last March, I became the Secretary General of Teatro Komunikado. Quite a big responsibility. I didn't know where to start my two-year term. Even the whole Executive Board had a really hard time figuring out the same thing. Teatro Kom is a big organization. It has a lot of activities, commitments, and we had to maintain the image that the previous officers left. Meaning, extra efforts and extra time. We didn't mind that. We enjoyed every moment.

An now, I made my mistake. It was my turn to do bad for the group. One single mistake and I lost it all. I built my dream sand castle but I accidentally broke it. I'm really sorry - for the group and for myself. I lost track of fulfilling my very own responsibilities so I have to take some rest for the next two months. I understand why I have to be given with such sanction/s. But I hope I would understand the consequences of that sanction months after.

I don't know what the next two months will give me. I still have no definite plan whether to go back or just support them from afar. I love the group, undoubtedly. I think I have nothing to prove about that. But maybe it's time to love myself and just be where I am right now. The incident really taught me a lot and made me realize many things.

As to my final decision, I can't really tell by now... But I'll always be around.

Fresh Burst!

I guess it really has to be this way. Life is working its best to teach me with all I need. It's all starting. My mind is full of different thoughts. They're battling. Good or bad? Right or wrong? Now or never? Whew! I want to stay away from those things. I'm trying to divert my attentions with all the possible things I could use.

Number One

I never thought it's my fault. Of course, it's not your fault, too. I never wanted it this way. At first, it was nothing to me. I already passed through that before but nothing really mattered to me. If you choose to stay away, it's your choice. If that's the only way I could help you to ease everything up. Just don't make me feel I'm responsible for you. As what I've said, nobody wanted this.

Number Two

I'm sorry if I caused a lot of trouble to the group. I was barely aware that my simple friendship with her would still be an issue after a long time. Is it my fault that I felt so comfortable to her? She taught me everything about the group. Initially, I learned to love the group because of her. And I know I made all the responsibilities I have despite of everything so I guess you shall not blame anyone for what happened.

Number Three

At last! Now, I understand. I have to because it is the truth. I don't know what to feel. I won't say or do anything because you already did it for me. Thanks. But, still, I won't stop here. I just understand but it doesn't mean it's easy.

Maybe I'll just stay here in this way. I'll just hold these things with me and look at them, thinking someday I will let those things fly away exactly the way I want them right now. I have dreams. I'm thinking positive. It's not yet the right time. I feel it. I don't know how to say it but I really feel it. I want those dreams to come true and I don't know how will I feel when that time comes. I'm not really good in words so I can't put all of them here.

But, I understand. Those dreams may come but in a different 'version'. It's like a story with different characters. I'll just continue making stories in my mind and feel every details of it. That would be the case from now on. Still, it's really hard for me. Lots of thanks. I'll just feel it until it's gone.

"You'll never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."

I'm not absolutely satisfied with what I put in here. I don't know how to put down in words everything I feel. But please, I'm not accepting any questions about this. Thank you.